if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
honey bunches of taint.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
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I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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