I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you made out with another girl for some wings
So vagazzling was a success
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
