who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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