I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
