Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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