It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
