I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
