I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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