he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
