mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize