im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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