Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
