Redeem this text for a blowjob
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
