Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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