definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
