she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
