Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize