About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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