I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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