Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
