Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize