I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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