I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
