margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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