ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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