You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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