It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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