Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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