that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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