that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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