i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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