I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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