I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my liver is dry heaving
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
