U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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