it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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