Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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