after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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