and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
