Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
