I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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