Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
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I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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