On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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