The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize