if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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