Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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