Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
