nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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