I forgot how hot balto sounded
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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