I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
