she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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