Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
