R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
