she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
