My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
