Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
