I faked an abortion last night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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