How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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