Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
