so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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