with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
